Learn Some Fucking Manners!

I would like to tell you all a little story about my bus ride home the other night. I climbed aboard my usual bus, and sat in my usual spot. Along the way, the bus stopped and picked up a man who clearly was suffering from a mental disorder, most likely schizophrenia, as he was rambling and ranting and raving out loud. Still, he possessed enough of his facilities to get on the bus to go somewhere—I would presume home, much like myself. He sat in the back of the bus, I suspect to reduce people’s exposure to his loud conversation with nobody in particular.

A few stops along the way, a woman boarded the bus, and expressed concern. She spoke to the driver. We’re held up. Apparently, this woman has taken issue with the man in the back of the bus. Sensing a problem, the man disembarked. Meanwhile, we’re still held up. The woman, relieved that the man has left, expresses her relief out loud, claiming “[T]hat’s how people get killed.” The bus is still held up, however, as the driver has summoned the police to address the woman’s complaint. At this point, I express my frustration, and get off the bus, vowing to walk home. Besides, I had to piss like a racehorse, anyway.

Who has caused the problem here: The schizophrenic man, or the consternated woman? Write your answer down on a slip of paper, and fold it in half.

If you said the schizophrenic man, please take that paper, light it on fire, and apply the fire to your external genitalia, and fuck yourself hard enough to travel through time.

Mental illness exists, and it’s a fucking problem, but no matter how much of a fucking problem it is for you to deal with the mentally ill, the mentally ill have a bigger fucking problem dealing with themselves. What pissed me off most about the bus situation, aside from being held up from getting home so that the fucking police could come to the bus when they have better things to do, is that the woman bitching about the schizophrenic guy was a nurse—well, she at least had scrubs on. I sure hope she never has to work in the psych ward, and I would pity the patients if she did.

The idea that schizophrenics are violent is for the most part a fucking myth. In fact, according to studies, people with schizophrenia are 14 times more fucking likely to be a victim of violence, rather than the other way around.. The poor, rambling man on the bus, loud as he is, is not a threat to your well-being, so let him the fuck alone. I know it can be pretty hard to share a bus with someone who rants, yells, and raves to nobody but himself, but it’s way fucking harder to be the guy who rants, yells, and raves to nobody but himself. You only have to put up with it for a little while—he has to live with it all the fucking time.

Do a little research, grow the fuck up, and learn to deal with people who have problems. If you really want to complain about the prevalence of the mentally ill in society, why not bitch about how the infrastructure to support the mentally ill was pretty much fucking gutted in the 1970s and 1980s—no small thanks to Mr. Ronald Fucking Reagan. It’s a fucked up, sad situation, and idiots who don’t understand mental illness ain’t making it any fucking easier for those who have it.

Yeah, this is petty shit. Bite me. It’s still fucking gross as fuck to see someone walking down the street, with their fucking mouth hanging open. I mean, fuck me in the ass with a spiked dildo, and using my own boiling blood for lube, what is your goddamn fucking problem? At the very least, have the fucking courtesy to mop up your fucking saliva if you’re going to walk around like that. Show some dignity, show some respect for yourselves and others, you stupid shit.

Honestly, take a look at yourself in the mirror with your mouth closed. Then, look at yourself with your mouth hanging open like the fucking simian you are. Which makes you look more attractive, intelligent, and civilized? Here’s a big fucking hint: the one where people can’t look down your fucking throat and see your teeth, tongue, uvula, and probably your motherfucking tonsils. Knock this shit off right now.

The only person I’ll let go around like this is Roger Ebert, and that’s because he’s got a motherfucking excuse; no lower jaw.