Say Fucking “Please” and Say Fucking “Thank You”
You have a request of me. Fine. I have a request of you: ask me fucking nicely, you fucking blob of snot. If you want me to do anything for you, you better include the fucking word “please” with your request, or I will fucking ignore you… if you’re lucky. Do you know why “please” is considered the “magic word?” It’s because saying “please” to someone is polite. Saying it shows that you have an understanding of what your question implies, that you’re either interrupting someone, or imposing on someone. Acceptable substitutes do exist for please, such as: “pardon me,” “would you mind,” and “I would appreciate it if”. If you do not use these phrases, or even “please,” then fuck you. Also, don’t use them sarcastically. I’ll make sure you regret it.
More importantly, if I complete your request, or even just try, you better fucking thank me. Why? It’s polite. It shows you care, it shows you’re grateful. I don’t care if it’s sincere or not, but it sure better fucking sound sincere. “Oh, thanks,” in a dismissive, sarcastic manner is worse than not saying anything at all, because you’re clearly communicating your lack of consideration for me and what I do. How would you like it if the tables were turned, you stupid shit? I make you bust your ass for me, and don’t even thank you. Would you be upset? I bet you fucking would. So don’t pull that shit with me, or someone else. Fucking rude shitstans.