Learn Some Fucking Manners!

Recently, I had the extreme displeasure of dealing with a clueless woman’s bratty, hyperactive hellspawn on a recent trip to the grocery store. Oddly, I don’t run into this shit too often. The worst it usually gets is one loud, crying baby or toddler, maybe two on a bad day. I suppose I’m goddamn lucky in that regard. Of course, that sort of luck makes the egregiousness of this woman’s fucking cunt-droppings all the more aggravating. I should have known I was in for trouble when I walked into the store and saw one of the little shits pushing a cart, at top speed, into a display of stuffed animals. Now, I have been known to exaggerate for comedic, or dramatic effect, but I am not making a word of that previous sentence up. Where was the kid’s mother? At the time, I couldn’t tell, but I knew my grocery store trip was going to be painful, no matter how fast I went, and sure enough, the stupid cow of a mother and her wastes of genetic material were causing drama in the self-checkout. When I confronted her on her idiocy, she stared back at me the way a deer would stare into oncoming headlights, and said “It’s hard.”

At the risk of channelling Maddox, I told her that my parents would beat the crap out of me if I was pulling that shit. This is an exaggeration, but I know my parents, and any parent who has even one brain cell, would grab their spawn by the arm, and make them behave in one form or another. Your shitstain of a kid smashes a cart into a display of toys, you make them pick that shit up. It’s simple. It’s effective. You are a fucking parent, ergo, you fucking parent your fucking kids. If you don’t make your kids realize their actions have consequences, if you just kiss their ass aid praise them, you end up with adults who can’t fucking function in the real world.

Adults, by the way, who can’t function in the real world serve as a further bane to my existence—and worse, they often reproduce and “raise” even more retarded children that aren’t actually parented and make things worse. This is fucking dysgenics. This is the seeds of motherfucking Idiocracy! Centuries down the line, the fucking mongoloid retards will have outbred all the fucking smart and decent people. (And don’t expect me to start breeding to counteract it. I don’t trust my abilities as a parent, and if you read this blog, you shouldn’t trust them, either.)

Hey, look, my parents weren’t perfect, but they fucking tried, damn it! They put some fucking effort into making sure I knew how to behave in public, and weren’t afraid to actually put their feet down when necessary to make me behave. They didn’t even have to use violence. No laying of hands, no spanking, nothing that could even be borderline considered child abuse—stern words and carefully applied punishments can go a long way to ensuring kids behave. It’s not unlike training a dog.

Hm. Maybe, I should be a parent.

Nah.